Top 5 Things I Want For My Birthday(but I'm not holding my breath for)

1) Diora Baird

This gorgeous and charming actress/model has steadily crept to the top of my fantasy girl list. Not only is she very easy on the eyes but she's also very witty as is evident if you follow her twitter feed (@diorabaird1). She may not be on the A-List yet but she's the tops as far as I am concerned.

2) A new job

I'm not even asking for anything exciting or highly paid. Just something that doesn't make me want to kill myself and helps pay the bills. Unemployment really does not suit me. I'd even take a few interviews just to keep me fresh. My phone and e-mail have been a ghost town in the last month since I've been looking.

3) An Apple iPad

What the heck, it looks cool and even though I've had interest in both the Amazon Kindle and Sony Reader, I still trust Apple based on my addiction to my iPod for the last near decade. And I've been able to resist switching from Blackberry to iPhone so maybe it's time to get back into the Apple fray.

4) A new pair of sneakers

I haven't bought a new pair of sneakers in a while and considering I want to get back into shape by exercising and playing sports more often this spring, so a new pair of Reebok's or Asics' would help a lot.

5) A bottle of Johnny Walker Blue

Nothing says Happy Birthday like a really good bottle of scotch.

2.5 Hombres

With rumors abound of troubled star Charlie Sheen's possible departure from the hit CBS sitcom "Two & Half Men" we've come up with a list of candidates to fill Charlie's shoes.

1) Emilio Estevez

Why not keep it in the family? Emilio was a star before his little bro and can bring some talent behind the scenes as well(Emilio wrote & directed 2006's Golden Globe nominated drama "Bobby").

2) Richard Grieco

Drugs, Alcohol, Hookers. Check, check, check. He was always a poor man's Charlie Sheen, even though he's probably best remembered for already having been a TV star replacement(joining "21 Jump Street" after Johnny Depp left for much greener pastures). According to his IMDB page Grieco has been MIA since he appeared on "Veronica Mars" three years ago so I know his schedule is clear.

3) Alex O'Loughlin

The star of short-lived CBS programs "Moonlight" and "Three Rivers" is already set to headline the network's reboot of it's classic "Hawaii 5-0" but given his track record carrying shows it won't last long and I don't see any reason why CBS can't just keep throwing him in series after series until he becomes a star.

4) Jesse James

You bump the kid on the show up to a full man credit and then Jesse becomes the half man. Yeah, too easy.

5) Andrew McCarthy

Duckie's nemisis returns! And please name his character Blane.